by Yongmei Wang 作者: 王咏梅
People eating at a restaurant in Nanjing, China.
人们正在南京一家餐馆就餐。
吃什么和如何吃都是文化。每个民族的庆典小到生日，大到全民的节日都和吃分不开。但是这个世界上没有哪个民族像中国人那样热衷于请客吃饭。
对比中西式就餐方式，明显的差别有两个：合餐/分餐，付账/拆账。 中国人聚餐时一人点菜大家吃，菜肴都放在餐桌中间，供就餐者共享。 西餐桌上，就餐者为自己点餐。 虽也有分享，基本上每人主要吃自己盘中食物。用餐完毕，中国人一桌一份账单，众人争相做东；西方人通常各自付账。
文明初期，共食往往限于家庭或部族成员之间，因为血缘象征信任。千年过去，传统依旧。不论是商业伙伴还是私人交情，在无血缘的人群中找到信任困难重重。然而，共食却可以摸拟血亲关系人们之间的联系，使原来陌生的人成为朋友和商业伙伴。通过共食获得了解信任，几乎是东西方文化都认同的社交模式。但是，中国人争先恐后为所有人付账却颇为独特。
Yongmei Wang introducing guest speakers at China’s Day of the Multicultural Week at the Keshen Goodman library.
本文作者王咏梅正在Keshen图书馆举办的“多元文化周之中国主题日”上介绍演讲人。
中国的农耕文明历经千年。土地的不可流动使劳动力相对固定，社会人员也因此相对固定不变。同时，农业耕作是长期产业，播下种子需待谷物成熟才能收获。这样的生产模式影响了中国人社交的模式。长期性和互惠互利是中国人的社交理念。相较而言，游牧民族情况不尽相同，人们逐水草而居，社会成员不断变动，长期互助关系难以建立。人们固然聚餐，但是一般不期待此餐之后的回报。
中国人争相买单，谁最终获得买单的权力，规则复杂。给予乃获得。买单的人获得被回报的机会，即便有求于就餐者，也显得顺理成章。有时候，买单者不期回报，就图个好名声。反之亦然，获得也是给予。接受招待，给足主人面子，并心存回报之念。
了解就餐的规则有助于建立个人交情，发展良好商业合作关系。直到今天，在中国，吃不到一起的人，很难成为朋友或合作伙伴。(完）
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What we eat and how we eat says a lot about our culture. The world’s countries celebrate different occasions – from birthdays to national holidays – and eating is always an important part of celebrations. However, when it comes to sharing food, the Chinese stand out as a people who gain satisfaction from treating others to a delicious meal.
Two significant differences between Chinese and Western dining habits are sharing and paying for a meal. When Chinese people dine together, the food is ordered to share amongst all diners. Dishes are served in the centre of the table for the purpose of sharing. In the West, food is served individually, and people eat from their own plates. When it’s time to pay for the meal, Chinese take a long time to settle the dispute of who has the honour to pay for the group. The culture of “treating the group” is common in China whereas in the Western countries, it is rare and would depend on the occasion.
Dining together means having company to share the joy of food. In early civilizations, sharing food was limited to family and trusted tribal members related by kinship. Thousands of years have passed, but those traditions remain. Seeking friendship or business partners outside of kinship is not easy. However, sharing food simulates a kinship, and has become a testimony of trust. It has become a universal model for people to socialize and gain trust through dining together. In this way, paying for the whole group has become a special custom for the Chinese.
China entered into the agricultural era about four thousand years ago. Farming was the primary industry until only about two hundred years ago. The long-term, stationary farming system created a stable society. The nature of agriculture restricted labour mobility, so people had to remain in one place and later form a stable community. Crops take time to grow and mature before a harvest. This process came to be a model of Chinese social life.
Sustainability and reciprocity are the fundamental principles for social interactions in China. The rationalization behind paying for other people’s meals is that sometime in the future I shall be rewarded. However, Chinese don’t necessarily expect rewards in forms of future meals: the reward might come as a piece of useful information, assistance in solving a problem, or a networking opportunity with an important contact. Eating with potential business partners before or after professional meetings is not only important but strategic. It provides an opportunity to analyze the personalities of business contacts.
Who finally gets to pay the bill? The answer could run pages after pages. Long story short, giving is receiving. For people who treat others, not only do they win respect by being generous, they stand in a position to ask future favours. Conversely, receiving is usually giving. Those who enjoy free meals will eventually repay the favour in one way or another.
Having said that, there are some guidelines to follow. If you were a guest, your host would be expected to take care of the bill, but guests should offer to pay nonetheless. When a group of people eat out together, the person who suggests eating out should normally pay. On an occasion where people celebrate, the person being honoured by the celebration usually pays.
Getting to know some of the unwritten rules of the eating culture in China is important for those who seek to form personal and professional relationships with their Chinese counterparts. It is safe to say that, in China, people who never share a meal together are not likely to form a significant relationship.